Anger is a natural emotion. Related to feelings of anger are often other underlying feelings such as injustice, disrespect, hurt, anxiety and, at times, even grief. When left unchecked, it can spiral into harmful patterns that affect our relationships, work life, and overall well-being.
In fast-paced Singapore, it is not uncommon that people put aside their feelings to focus on moving on. Yet at some point, this pushing away of feelings no longer works and the anger surfaces as sudden explosive or aggressive reactions that may be frightening to others or even to oneself.
While it is common knowledge that anger management involves learning to self-regulate one’s emotions such as deep breathing, or walking away from a situation, we often hear people say “it does not work”. That is because two important areas in anger management may be overlooked. In this article, we look at these two areas and how anger management therapy and counselling services in Singapore can offer essential support.
#1 Identifying the Roots of Anger
The first area is understanding what really lies beneath the anger, such as the deeper feelings of injustice, powerlessness, hurt, grief or other unmet emotional needs. Some of these may be also associated with past experiences that still feel very present in one’s life.
Anger feelings are also often related to differing values and unmet expectations whether in personal relationships, at work, in the home or even self-imposed. For example, in a professional setting, an employee may feel angry if he sees that the employer’s values differs greatly from his, such as caring for outcomes at the expense of employee well-being or fairness. Or in the family context, a child hoping that his parent sees and appreciates his efforts may feel angry and unappreciated when he experiences his efforts dismissed or even criticised by his parents. In a relationship, a partner who feels belittled over something she cares strongly about may express anger as she is expecting her partner to show respect towards her and what matters to her.
Through anger management counselling, individuals can explore their anger to understand the deeper issues with the help of professionals. Counsellors are trained to guide individuals in identifying specific triggers for anger, allowing for a more thoughtful approach to managing one’s emotions rather than simply reacting in the heat of the moment.
Counselling and therapy also provides a space to explore what matters to you and how you may be experiencing conflicts of values, or expectations in the situation you are in, and learn to approach them in a more needs-satisfying way. One way of doing so is through reviewing the expectations and what is negotiable and non-negotiable to you, and the second is in improving communication skills in handling the conflicts with the people involved.
#2 Learning to Communicate Needs
The second area is thus learning the skills to communicate one’s needs more effectively, rather than suppress one’s needs or react aggressively. Adopting skills such as active listening, empathy, negotiating differences and assertive speaking can help you to advocate for what matters to you, improve mutual understanding and reduce communication breakdowns. This may involve trying out unfamiliar ways of initiating and holding difficult conversations. Counselling offers on-going support to help you in your journey in also overcoming the struggles to try new approaches in communication.
The Impact of Unresolved Issues
When unresolved anger issues remain buried, they can manifest in harmful ways over time. Anger that is not addressed can impact various areas of life such as, important relationships, effectiveness at work and personal mental health. It is widely acknowledged that unaddressed anger issues may contribute to further feelings of stress, anxiety, loneliness and even depression. Long standing anger issues also adversely impact one’s health in the form of physical symptoms such as high blood pressure, tension, and fatigue.
Addressing these issues and taking steps to try these new skills will go a long way in understanding yourself and empowering yourself to living a healthier and more satisfying life. The good news is that through counselling services, the core issues can be addressed and you can receive the support you need and improve your mental well-being.
Through anger management counselling at a deeper level, individuals can address both of these areas together with learning self-regulation to bring longer lasting change in one’s relationship with anger.
Learn more: Overcoming Stigma: Debunking 3 Misconceptions About Counselling – In Focus
Understanding the core issues behind anger is the first step in effectively managing it. If anger is affecting your life, seeking help through counselling and therapy can be a crucial step towards healing. Through professional guidance and tailored support, you can regain control over your emotions and lead a more balanced, harmonious life.
Looking to take control of your emotions and improve your well-being? Here at In Focus, our trained professionals are here to guide you towards a healthier, more satisfying life. Contact us to book your counselling and therapy session and begin your journey towards emotional clarity and stability.